Thought Catalog

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1. Late night singles hotline ads.

You’re minding your own business watching Friends reruns when Livelinks greets you with a fit bodied, symmetrical faced person and a sensual sounding voiceover that’s encouraging you to engage in phone conversations with hot locals. They’re desperately trying to make you want human interaction but logic says that a person down to talk to strangers at 1am isn’t your type. Success: 1-800-000-0000/10

2. Restaurant promotions that discriminate against single people with small appetites.

I’m looking at you, Applebee’s 2 for $20 meal deal. There are others (*cough* Olive Garden & Chili’s *cough*), but you set the tone. Success: 5.6

3. Really good Groupon deals.

There’s something vaguely depressing about purchasing a luxury retreat knowing you’d be attending all by your lonesome. On the one hand, solo massages, champagne and spa festivities sound chill, but when you realize the package includes two…

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